Pregnancy | Things You Shouldn’t Say to an Expectant Mother

So I guess this is my first ‘real’ pregnancy post. I’m 4 months today so it might seem a bit odd that I’ve not written about my journey before now. I think it was because my morning sickness was so bad in my first trimester that all I constantly thought about was being pregnant, it was nice to have a space that was completely baby-free. Now I’m feeling a hell of a lot better I’m ready to share my experiences and thoughts, and wow, do I have a lot of them! 

I waited 3 months before telling most of my friends, family, work colleagues and, well, the whole of Twitter I was expecting. It was drummed into me that the first 3 months are the most ‘dangerous’ and I didn’t want to jinx anything. There’s a little truth to this, but I think it was mostly me being superstitious and also wanting to give the most awesome Christmas day surprise ever to my mum. When we broke the news we were overwhelmed by a tidal wave of congratulations, advice, questions and pretty descriptive birthing stories. This brings me to the first thing you should probably keep to yourself when talking to an expectant mother…

“When I was in labour *insert horror story here*”
Yes, I understand that you’ve had a baby and that’s amazing, but that doesn’t mean I need to know the ins and outs of your cesareans/miscarriage scares/stretchmarks/blood clots/epidurals/bodily fluids/48 hours labour stories, quite yet, or ever for that matter. If an expectant mother actually asks for advice that’s a totally different story and I would never suggest sugar-coating the facts, but the key word here is SENSITIVITY people. Try to remember how overwhelmed and scared she (and her partner) probably is right now especially if it’s their first baby. Try to take a second to think, “What is the benefit of telling her this information?”, you know, other than to scare the bejesus out of her.

“Have you tried eating a ginger biscuit?”
Everyone is such a bloody expert on morning sickness, or so my slightly hormonal self thought during my first trimester. When you’re on day 3 of sitting on the bathroom floor constantly retching, completely sleep deprived and convinced that you’ll never be able to eat again and someone suggests eating a ginger biscuit for the fourteenth time that day, chances are you will end up telling them where to stick their sodding ginger snaps.

“You’re not THAT pregnant”
This one literally made my blood boil in my first trimester, especially when this comment is made by the opposite sex. Whether you’ve been pregnant for one week, 3 weeks or 4 months pregnant is pregnant people. I’m pretty small so my bump isn’t all that visible yet but why should my sore back, lack of appetite, nausea or sheer exhaustion be mocked because I’m not waddling about yet?

Rant over… for now. I feel bad as actually everyone’s been really supportive and lovely, it’s just that a few comments have been really winding me up recently and before I knew it I had written this post! Have you had any similar experiences? I would love for you to share them so I don’t feel like a total Moaning Myrtle.