The True Meaning of Christmas…

Hi everyone, this is just a quick post to say sorry that it’s been a little quiet on here recently. The last few weeks have been pretty stressful and The Beautiful Bluebird has had to take a backseat because of this. It all started Nov 28th when I was helping my mum to put up her Christmas tree (I know she’s an early bird!). We heard my Nan calling us in the kitchen from only a few feet away, we rushed through to find her on a heap on the floor, unable to get up with her legs and arms twisted in the most awful of positions. We managed to help her up and she even walked up stairs all on her own to have a lie down. Nowadays my Nan shuffles on her feet and sadly often falls, but as she managed to walk up the stairs and even seemed in high spirits afterwards we didn’t think any huge damage had been done; how wrong we were.

The following morning I received a panicked phone call from my mum. Nan couldn’t get up and was in a huge amount of pain. We were to afraid to try and get her back down the stairs ourselves so we had to phone an ambulance. After 5 hours at A&E the doctors suspected a hip injury even though one wasn’t showing on the xray, we were hopeful this was just a precaution and we’d soon have her back home in no time. Unfortunately, the following day another x-ray did show that her hip was broken. Nan is STILL in hospital recovering. Every night I go visit her after work to cheer her up, she hates hospitals and is currently suffering from hospital-based delirium, a state of mental confusion which is common in the elderly and those who have recently had surgery or/and an infection. Although it is common this doesn’t make it anymore distressing and terrifying for both my Nan and my family. 

She has good days and bad days. Sometimes I go in and she can hold a conversation, we read the paper together and even play simple card games like Snap. Other days, she thinks the nurses are trying to hurt her, that we’ve left her there, that there’s some kind of conspiracy and begins to cry when she realises Christmas is only a few days away. At the end of my visits, she wants to come home with me and all I want to do is let her. But I can’t. And telling her this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life. Most nights I leave her ward after visiting hours and I have a good cry. My Nan is my world and seeing her like this feels like my heart is literally being ripped from my chest. The past few months have been hard on everyone. We are trying to stay positive and look forward to Christmas, but we are slowly coming to the conclusion that it just won’t be the same this year. It may sound corny but seeing my Nan go through this and seeing my family come together to look after her, has really has made me appreciate  the real meaning of Christmas and what this time of year should really be about. I honestly couldn’t care less about all presents and materialistic element of the holidays right now. Although this is often part of my job as a blogger to promote. I take my blog and the promises that I make with companies I work with very seriously, although I’d be lying if I said my heart was in it right now. All I truly want for Christmas is my Nan back in her home, safe and happy.

At this time of year it really is important to be thankful for those around you, to appreciate them and all the little things you may take for granted. Take the time among all the gift giving and Christmas chaos to sit and have a think about how truly lucky you are.

I hope I haven’t dampened your festive spirits by writing this post, but this blog is a refection of me and my life, and sometimes life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows (although don’t you wish it was?). I really hope you all have a magical Christmas. Try to remember the true meaning of this season; forget about the presents and go out of your way to spread laughter, love and happiness.